Growing Up, or something like that

I’ve decided that the older you get, the more binding society becomes.

Birth:  I poop when I want, wherever I want.  That food tasted like shit, I’m gonna puke it onto you shoulder.  You’re not paying attention to me, consequently, I’m going to scream for 3 hours.

Toddler: I want that toy, or I’m going to tell everyone you beat me.  What do you mean I have to use a potty?

Kindergarden:  You mean I have to go to school and use these blocks every day for 12 years? But I can still have crayons at Applebees, that’s a plus.

Elementary School: Division?!?! What does that even mean? I have to raise my hand to go to the bathroom now? Why can’t I wear velcro shoes anymore?

Middle School: There is a letter in my math problem, I think it’s lost. What the hell are chores?

High School: I have to register for the selective service?! Apply for colleges?

College: I have to pay for my own car insurance, auto loans, rent, books, cell phone, groceries annnnnnd I have to mend my own pants and do my own laundry?

It’s like a de-evolution of freedoms.  I want to go poop my pants and have my mom rock me to sleep and my dad to have hair again. But those won’t happen, well, in the manner that I mean them 😉  As I prepare for my imminent college graduation, I realize a lot of things are going to change, once again.  I just spent two hours searching for health insurance plans, something I’ve obviously taken for granted.  My pop is in the Army, and so we’ve never had to worry about paying for it.  Of course, now that I’m a big boy I have to step out from the government umbrella and take care of myself for once.

However, I’m determined to re-evaluate my freedoms, my choices, and my goals to successfully re-ordinate them in my own way, instead of society’s run-of-the-muck standards. I want to start taking my freedoms back, and permanently remove the boundaries I’ve been living in to date.  I’m not saying that the next time I’m hanging out with you that I might poop on the floor, or ask for crayons at Applebees (OK that could happen) but I want to free myself of the system.  Holy smokes, I sound like a hippy.

I went to college, I’m getting my degree, but here’s where I deviate.  While everyone else goes where the job goes, and lives to work in the same place the rest of their lives, I’m going to go where I want to, find a job and work just enough to live the most fulfilling life I possibly can. Poor, or not. And when I decide that place bores me, I’ll move to another and wear that place out too.  Because to me I’ve got at most 80 more years here, and I don’t want to spend the best ones I’ve got sitting in an office somewhere. Lastly, while everyone else puts hundreds of their dollars a month into a retirement plan, I’m going to spend every dollar I have doing the things I want to now. I can work in an office when I’m 60.

 

Sorry Parents :-/

 

Advertisements